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July 14, 2011

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Your upcoming wedding will affect people in your life differently. Many weddings are “all about the bride”, and rarely do you hear much about the FOB (father of the bride), except when another check needs to be written!

Hoping this helps explain your dad’s pre-wedding behavior (why is he suddenly always in the garage?), not to mention his “day of” apparel requests. Communication during stressful times is important.

During your engagement, make time to be with your dad and spend quality “one-on-one” time together. If you sense your dad is getting emotionally distant, ask him to be involved in a part of your wedding you and your mom think he would enjoy. This would be a perfect time to let your dad know that although your relationship may change, no one will take his place. Let him know you look forward to and will treasure this part of your relationship with him. Your dad is working on trusting another man to protect you, which has always been his duty.

With your wedding day around the corner, your dad may feel a sense of loss or feel “his job is over” once you are married. Mothers normally feel an “empty nest” when you leave for college. Yet with fatherhood, this is a major part of his identity, especially since fathers reflect on when you were little, when he taught you things, and remembering how quickly the time has passed.

Verbally walk your dad through your wedding day schedule for the “when and where” of your rehearsal, ceremony, and reception. Let him know the photography timeline, how he will be walking you down the aisle, and his very important line “her mother and I” or “we do” at the ceremony. Remind him of his welcome/toast to everyone and give him a time limit so he knows to be brief. Practice your father/daughter dance together, and ask your wedding planner for assistance if you need help with song selections and choreography.

Copyright 2011
Kim Horn, Master Bridal Consultant (1 of 59 in the World)
Publisher, Arizona Bridal Source
ABC AZ State Coordinator
ABC 2010 Conference Chair worked with David Tutera
O 480.921.7891
C 602.418.9089
E info@ArizonaBridalSource.com
ArizonaBridalSource.com

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September 3, 2009

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With toasts and speeches, the more you have,  the more time you and your guests are “waiting” for something to happen.

Traditionally 3 minutes maximum is great for toasts and speeches, otherwise things may be “too wordy”, and get boring fast.

Will never forget one wedding in April, which was the 3rd wedding I had planned for the three siblings within 5.5 years.  The bride had been in the wedding parties at the previous weddings, but had not been involved in the “wedding day scheduling”.  Never wanting a bride to “settle” on her wedding day, with the bride saying it was a “MUST” for an open microphone.  We had the VIPs go first (five of them), then opened up the microphone with a “sign” between us (knowing she would realize “enough was enough”).  35 minutes later, the bride gave me the “sign” to signal the last toast, and let’s get on to the dinner!  (For safety, had already talked to the head captain at the BEO meeting to make sure the chef was informed to hold the meal – no cold food)!

The rehearsal dinner is a perfect place for an “open microphone”.  Most of your closest family and friends will be there, and it is a fun and loving atmosphere.  Don’t forget to have your wedding photographer and wedding videographer capture your wedding rehearsal dinner toasts and festivities!

“Open microphones” for your wedding day are NOT recommended.  Speeches and toasts  in sequential order, with time limits, work well to keep the flow of your day moving forward (and your food warm too)!

Cutting everyone to 3 minutes maximum will make it easy to have 5 people (taking 15 minutes).  If you allowed those 5 people to have 5 minutes each, you just took 25 minutes away from your evening.  Your choice, but spend and allocate your time wisely.

FOB (also known as the Father of the Bride)

Good idea to have the FOB welcome guests first (after the first dance).  The FOB may go behind where the bride and groom are seated (a great photo opportunity), and may want to take the MOB (Mother of the Bride) with him.  The FOB does not need a glass with champagne, since he will only be welcoming, (not toasting – since this is traditionally the best man’s job).

1).  Thanks the guests for coming from near and far.  May want to mention various states, or countries of key interests to both sides of the family.

2).  Thanks the MOB (mother of the bride) for everything she did for making their family be as incredible as it is.

3).  Reflects on positive aspects of  his relationship with his daughter, watching her grow up, and how incredibly proud he was to walk her down the aisle, or of  when she did “x”, or when he knew the groom was “the one”, etc.

4).  Welcomes the groom into their family, and looking forward to them having many happy years together, excited to see grandchildren, family excursions, etc.

5).  Proposes a welcome to the bride and groom wishing them a future of happiness.

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