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February 13, 2012

Bridesmaids, Junior Bridesmaids, and Flower Girls Responsibilities

Bridesmaids, Junior Bridesmaids, and Flower Girls Responsibilities

You are engaged, getting married, and now are getting ready to ask your BFFs to be a part of your wedding.

Who do you ask, and what are their responsibilities?  Your bridesmaids, junior bridesmaids, and flower girls will be a large part of your wedding day.  They will be involved in your journey from being single to walking down the aisle on multiple levels.  

Select your wedding gown first for the style, vision, and formality of your wedding.  Remember your bridesmaids, junior bridesmaids, and flower girls will be your palette of color in many of your photos.  When you choose your color palettes go to – LOVE THEM, and work with colors which you look amazing in.  When choosing bridesmaid dresses remember to keep the wedding gown in mind.  You may come up with a common design which may be a combination of the fabric, sheen, bodice, train, neckline, shoulder treatment,  etc.

Weddings are stressful with emotions running high.  There are many important factors to consider before asking your BFFs to be in your wedding party.  The most important thing to consider is they are there to SUPPORT YOU!

It is your CHOICE to ask these people to be involved in your wedding day, and it should be an honor for them.  Not everyone may see things the way you do.

The day of your wedding IS all about you.  When you choose your wedding party, here are some things to consider BEFORE asking them to be in your wedding party:

1).  Your BFF which has always been “all about herself”, will probably still be all about herself.

2).  Your BFF which has always been there for you, in good times and bad, will be a source of strength for you.

3).  Your BFF which complains about being bloated when she is a size zero, will probably still be bloated.

4).  Your BFF which complains and talks about being too busy, may be too busy to help you.

5).  Your BFF which you haven’t seen since college, you probably won’t see or hear from until your wedding day.

6).  Your fiance’s sister who has been supportive of you becoming a new member of the family, will probably still be supportive.

7).  Your fiance’s sister who is BFF with his ex-girlfriend, will still probably be BFF with the ex.

Bridesmaid’s Responsibilities:

  • Pay for their dress and show up for their fittings.
  • Wear the correct attire.
  • Attend the wedding rehearsal.
  • Be supportive and follow the bride’s wishes.
  • Purchase a wedding gift for the bride and groom.
  • Arrive and be dressed for photos per the timeline for the wedding day.
  • Walk down the aisle with or without the groomsman per the bride’s request.
  • Look after the bride attentively on the day of the wedding.
  • Be available to pose for photos throughout the day.
  • Help plan the bachelorette party based on the bride’s taste.

Junior Bridesmaid Responsibilities:

The junior bridemaid is normally between the ages of nine to fourteen.  She is “too old” to be a flower girl, and “not old enough” to wear a bridesmaid dress.  Some manufacturers have junior bridesmaid dress sizes which are the same fabric and style of the bridesmaids, others may not.  You will want to have her purchase a junior bridesmaid dress which you approve which is in the same style and color as your bridesmaids.  Her parents would be responsible for purchasing her dress, shoes, and accessories.  The florals for the junior bridesmaid may be a scaled down version of the bridesmaids’ bouquet.

Flower Girl Responsibilities:

The flower girl is normally between the ages of three to eight.  Her parents will be responsible for purchasing her dress, shoes, and accessories.  If the flower girl needs a nap, it is best to try to keep her on schedule.  Ask your photographer if they could add the flower girl in the photography timeline when they are rested!   The flower girl traditionally follows the ring bearer (if you are having one).  If you have more than one flower girl, it works well to have them “buddy up” so they support each other.  Depending on the length of your ceremony, you may want the flower girls to be seated with their parents or grandparents.  It helps to have their parents on the center aisle to encourage them to walk to a familiar face.  Remember you may want to ask your makeup artist and hairstylist to make your flower girls feel extra special by touching them up before they walk down the aisle.  Keep in mind when you have children in the ceremony you have minimal control over the outcome.  The flower girl may run down the aisle, lift her dress, cry, or refuse to walk.  Remember, children in a wedding are adorable.  The flower girls are little, and the more supportive you and the bridesmaids are, the more they will feel included and want to impress the “big girls”.

Money Obligations:

If the bridesmaid or parents of the junior bridesmaid or flower girl are on a budget already, traditionally they pay for their own dress, shoes, and accessories.  Sometimes you may offer to pay for part or all of the gown and/or accessories, knowing the chance of them wear it again is minimal.  Remember the movie 27 dresses! 

Conflicting Personalities:

If the people you are considering to be in your wedding party get along well, great!  If they don’t, think again.  With stress and emotions running high, they will be at a higher level as the wedding day approaches.  Cat fights on your wedding day between your BFFs will not make it an enjoyable day, and your photos will show the stress in your faces.

“Real life” Happens:

Think about the situations which are “real life” to your BFFs.  Maybe one is pregnant, and expecting her first child close to your wedding date.  Maybe one just had a baby, and they need to bring the baby to your wedding.  Maybe one was just laid off from her job and has financial situations.  Maybe one no matter what happens has drama 24/7.  Try to surround yourself with people who are supportive of you and your fiance’s marriage.


By taking the time to hand pick your wedding party based on these specifications, this will help you choose a responsible and supportive group of bridesmaids, junior bridesmaids, and flower girls. 

Copyright 2012, Kim Horn, MBC™

To hire Kim as your wedding planner, call 480.921.7891 or text your name, wedding date, and wedding planner request to 602.418.9089.

Kim M. Horn, MBC™

Master Bridal Consultant | 1 of 59 in the World

Scottsdale, Paradise Valley, Chandler, Phoenix and Destination Weddings

Publisher | Pres. |

AZ State Coordinator | Assoc. of Bridal Consultants May 2003 – May 2012

ABC 2010 Conference Chair worked with David Tutera

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