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July 23, 2016

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Landon, Ring Bearer

Landon, Ring Bearer

You may approach not inviting children to your wedding in many ways.  Remember, for some families, they may not be satisfied with your choice, feel their kids are a “package deal,” and may plan to disregard your request by bringing their children anyway.  How will you feel if those guests show up with their children at your wedding?

How would you feel if you were invited to a close family member’s out-of-state wedding, and you have young children, and found out they were not invited?  Some people are okay with child-free weddings, others aren’t.

Are you planning to have children in your wedding party as flower girls, ring bearers, junior bridesmaids, or junior groomsmen?  If so, you may already be okay with having children at the wedding ceremony, just not at your cocktail reception, dinner, and dance.  Make an educated decision by talking to each other, and include your parents to get their feedback on what has been done in your family previously at weddings and other social events.

You may choose to include children of family members only, children of a certain age, or no children at all.  It is inappropriate per etiquette to write “No Children” on your invitations.  Instead, communicate your wishes by leaving childrens’ names off the invitations, and write only the parents’ names on the invitation outer and inner envelope.  Make sure you do not address the invitations to “and family,” or “and guests.”  Address your wedding invitation to the specific individual(s) you are asking to share your wedding with you, (i.e., Mr. and Mrs. Jonathan Anderson).  You may not want your cousin’s boyfriend of the week invited.

Wishful thinking is that the parents will read and understand by you addressing the envelope to Mr. and Mrs. Steven Horn this implies their kids aren’t invited…great idea and tip above, yet some parents may discard the envelope(s), and “assume” their entire family is invited.  The last thing you want is to not mention this on your save-the-date, or the wedding website, and the parents “assume” the kids are invited and are excited for a family get-away, to receive your invitation 6 – 7 weeks prior to the wedding date to find out their children are not invited.

You may want to tell certain relatives or friends about your plans for not inviting children.  As a courtesy, you may hire an experienced licensed and insured childcare provider during the hours of the wedding to watch the children of the out-of-town guests at a nearby hotel, or allow the guests to pay, provide and select childcare options from a list provided by you on your wedding website.  Nanny or childcare provider services are available to come to you at a location, and most have been fingerprinted, and have background checks for their employees.  Make sure you check their references, and the Better Business Bureau, and get recommendations and referrals from your wedding planner, catering manager, and hotel sales manager.

If you have predominantly locally guests attending, it will be easier for them to arrange reliable childcare.  For a new mother traveling with newborn, and nursing, it will be difficult for her to find reliable childcare in an unknown area, and she may need to be close in case the newborn isn’t taking a bottle from a stranger yet.  This may be the first time they have flown or traveled together with their newborn.  If you have toddlers, they may be clingy and resistant to going with someone they don’t know, especially in the evening, and the parents will be nervous throughout the evening.  In that instance, would recommend to arrange for childcare nearby at their hotel.  This would be close by, and in case they want to check-in during the evening, it would be easy and comfortable for all involved.

Define your version of “child-free.”  Will this be for your wedding cocktail reception, dinner, and dance only, where you are fine with children attending your rehearsal dinner, wedding ceremony, and the brunch the day after your wedding, or will you have an entire adult only wedding weekend?  You may already have in your mind the set of parents which are going to be upset with you, right?

Advance communication as clear and kindly as possible with specific wedding details like this needs to be included with your save-the-dates and on your wedding website.  Save-the-dates with your wedding website address should be mailed out as soon as possible.  You could provide a list of trusted childcare providers for the parents to reach out and interview, and this would be a way (depending on how many children would be traveling) for the children to be all together.  You may want to provide a room at your out-of-town guest hotel where the children have Netflix movies which are age related and kid activities in the hotel room so the children have an incredible time, are fed, are supervised, may go to sleep comfortably, and the parents enjoy their evening knowing their children are in good hands too, as a win-win.

Once you and your fiancé make a decision on your choice and definition of “child-free wedding”, would recommend keeping it equal for both sides of your families.  If someone RSVPs with more people than you invited, who will be the person to call them and let them know the invitation was for 2 adults, and because of budget, space, or safety (if there is a pool or water feature which may mean unattended children may be at risk) in order for them to enjoy their evening, we have chosen an adult reception only.  The last confrontation you want is, “Why did they get to bring their children, and we couldn’t bring ours?”

If you are having only a few couples which have families, it may be easiest to e-mail, text, or call them to let them know you want them to come for a “date night” at your wedding, and if they need help arranging childcare for “Tommy and Anna”, you have a list of reliable childcare providers referred to you which are insured and licensed on your wedding website to check out since it is an adult reception only wedding.

On your RSVP card, as well as your wedding website here are some ideas to consider:

  • Please reserve ________ adult seats at the cocktail reception, dinner, and dance.
  • Please reserve (circle) 1 or 2 adult seats at the cocktail reception, dinner, and dance.
  • Adult Reception Only
  • While we love the little ones, this is an adult only affair.
  • We would love for your children to attend the wedding ceremony, however, the reception will be an adult affair. We would love to help you arrange for childcare please see our wedding website www.MattandCindi8.8.2018 for details.
  • ________ children RSVPs for childcare with age(s) being ______________

On your RSVP card, you may want to put a #1, or #2 for the maximum quantity of RSVPs.  This gets difficult if you invite many single guests, since this may allow them to invite their “+1,” although you aren’t interested in inviting their “+1.”

If you and your fiancé are okay with children attending the ceremony, you may want to try:

  • Children are welcome to attend the wedding ceremony, yet the cocktail reception, dinner, and dance is an adults-only affair.
  • Children are welcome at the ceremony, yet to allow all guests to enjoy their evening, we have chosen an adults only cocktail reception, dinner, and dance.

Whatever your choice, please communicate clearly with kind words, and treat people the way you would like to be treated.

Copyright 2016, Kim Horn, MWP™

HIRE expert, Kim Horn, MWP™ to help design, negotiate, mediate, plan, and implement your wedding details.

Kim M. Horn, MWP™

Master Wedding Planner | 1 of 75 in the World

Scottsdale Wedding Planner |

Paradise Valley Wedding Planner |

Chandler Wedding Planner | Phoenix Wedding Planner |

Sedona Wedding Planner | Destination Weddings | Weddings Worldwide

Publisher | President | ArizonaBridalSource.com

O 480.921.7891

M 602.418.9089

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May 17, 2012
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TheWrightHouse.com

TheWrightHouse.com

One frequently asked question is “where should I have my wedding reception, and how much will it cost?”  This is another reason to hire an expert wedding planner, to fast track you in matching your style, number of guests, and budget to the  venue.  By having worked events at hundreds of sites, as a wedding planner, it becomes easy to know the ins and outs of each property.

The Wright House, 636 W. University Dr., Mesa, AZ  85201, 480.833.0902, www.thewrighthouse.com  Choose between two unique venues:  A formal Victorian English garden with gazebos, flower bed, and vine covered verandah; or a Southern French garden with gorgeous fountains and the rustic charm of a Country French Inn. Includes setup, fresh floral centerpieces, linens, and decorating. Your own caterer welcome.

Ancala Country Club, 11700 E. Via Linda, Scottsdale, AZ  85259, 480.391.1000  A golden sunset, sneaking behind gentle mountains in the distance. A light breeze, filled with laughter, and love. Soft gentle kisses. This is a day you have been dreaming about. Your wedding at Ancala Country Club. Where possibilities are endless…and the day is truly yours.

Anthem Golf & Country Club, 11700 E. Via Linda, Scottsdale, AZ  85259, 480.391.1000  Amidst the sun-splashed mountains and the beauty of the Sonoran Desert, Anthem Golf & Country Club sets the breathtaking backdrop for your wedding.  Our two clubhouses, “Persimmon” and “Ironwood”, feature beautifully landscaped lawns, expansive patios, and indoor ballrooms among the many perfect settings for a truly memorable event.

Antique Wedding House, 307 E. First St., Mesa, AZ  85201, 480.649.1934  Historic 100 year old James A. MacDonald Home restored as Antique Wedding House and Gazebo Garden Reception site.

Arizona Grand Resort, 7777 S. Arizona Grand Pkwy., Phoenix, AZ  85044, 602.431.6457  From one of the most expansive ballrooms in the Southwest to our lush outdoor venues.  Arizona Grand Resort provides wide variety of versatile wedding sites and packages.  Each of our restaurants features a different theme and setting for a rehearsal dinner that’s just as memorable as the real thing.

Bentley Projects, 215 E. Grant St., Phoenix, AZ  85004, 602.340.9200  Bentley Projects is truly a distinctive event venue with exposed brick walls and wooden bow truss ceilings.  Critically acclaimed, Projects is located in the center of downtown Phoenix, just a few blocks south of Chase Field and the new Phoenix Convention Center.

Boojum Tree Hidden Gardens, 16026 N. 36th St., Phoenix, AZ  85032, 602.867.8975  A private five acre oasis in the heart of Phoenix featuring a forest of trees, fountains, ponds, tranquil river and a 20’ waterfall. Get married in our Hacienda Style Plaza, dine in our indoor Tropical Garden, socialize in our Old World Cantina and dance the night away in our beautiful Palm Garden.

Cave Creek Smokehouse’s Fountain Patio, 6245 E. Cave Creek Rd., Cave Creek, AZ  85331, 480.488.3317  Fantastic outside venue in the heart of Cave Creek with awesome food and views. Great anytime of the year with lodgings nearby.

Crowne Plaza Phoenix, 2532 W. Peoria Ave., Phoenix, AZ  85029, 602.943.2341  Newly renovated event space, indoor and outdoor. 3.5 million spent on renovation over the last year.

DoubleTree Resort by Hilton Paradise Valley-Scottsdale, 5401 N. Scottsdale Rd., Scottsdale, AZ  85250, 480.948.7750  Your perfect day in Paradise! Welcome to the ultimate setting for your ultimate day. Where tall palms tower over tropical gardens and whispering fountains, we offer the finest of touches and delectable culinary creations, along with a professional team that will bring it all together perfectly.

Downtown Phoenix Venues, P.O. Box 2236, Phoenix, AZ  85002, 602.416.1261  Each building has a unique structure and appearance incomparable to the other venues in the Valley. From the bow truss ceilings, as well as the modern and industrial look of monOrchid, or the raw feel of the Icehouse, not to mention the exposed brick walls and wooden bow truss ceilings of Bentley Projects.

Embassy Suites Phoenix Scottsdale Hotel, 4415 E. Paradise Village Pkwy. S., Phoenix, AZ  85032, 602.765.5807  Our breathtaking views and exceptional services will enhance the success of your special day! Our wedding packages may be customized to match your personal taste, style, and budget.

The Felch House Inn, 525 W. Lynwood St., Phoenix, AZ  85003, 480.229.2104  The Felch House Inn the 1927 Dutch Colonial Home of one of our first county doctors, Dr. Harry J. Felch. A showcase home designed by three architects and built by the finest craftsman is meticulously maintained. The lush half-acre English gardens make this the ideal location for vintage and garden events.

Fleming’s Prime Steakhouse & Wine Bar, DC Ranch, 20753 N. Pima Rd., Scottsdale, AZ  85255, 480.538.8000  Celebrate your most memorable times at Fleming’s. This special time in your life calls for a special celebration—with exceptional food and wine, shared among family and friends. Fleming’s is renowned for contemporary steakhouse dining at its finest and offers pre-set lunch and dinner menus with choices for varying budgets and tastes.

Fleming’s Prime Steakhouse & Wine Bar at the Hilton, 6333 N. Scottsdale Rd., Scottsdale, AZ  85250, 480.596.8265  Celebrate your most memorable times at Fleming’s. This special time in your life calls for a special celebration—with exceptional food and wine, shared among family and friends. Fleming’s is renowned for contemporary steakhouse dining at its finest and offers pre-set lunch and dinner menus with choices for varying budgets and tastes.

Glendale Civic Center, 5750 W. Glenn Dr., Glendale, AZ  85301, 623.878.2866  Our experienced wedding coordinators are delighted to help you design a wedding in one of our gardens and/or exquisite ballrooms that reflects your colors, tastes, and style. Our caterer is knowledgeable in many cuisines and will prepare a menu of flavors your guests will never forget, all within your budget.

The Icehouse, 429 W. Jackson, Phoenix, AZ  85004, 602.416.1261  The Icehouse, known historically as Constable Ice Storage, is located in the historic original town site of the city of Phoenix, Arizona. It began operations in 1910 as an icehouse, manufacturing 300 lb. ice blocks for use in the food industry, primarily to keep produce cold as it was shipped by railroad to Eastern U.S. cities.

McCormick Ranch Golf Club, 7505 E. McCormick Pkwy., Scottsdale, AZ  85258, 480.948.7011  Multiple venues with beautiful views of our sparkling lakes, luscious golf courses, and Camelback Mountain.

Mesa Country Club, 660 W. Fairway Dr., Mesa, AZ  85201, 480.964.1797  Mesa Country Club is an ideal wedding ceremony and reception venue for anyone. Perfectly suited to accommodate magnificent large celebrations as well as unforgettable intimate events. We can provide a variety of stunning indoor and outdoor spaces to create the wedding of your dreams.

monOrchid, 214 E. Roosevelt, Phoenix, AZ  85003, 602.416.1261  Located in the heart of downtown Phoenix’s art district, the monOrchid can be the perfect setting for your private event. This modern industrial chic gallery can accommodate events ranging from large receptions to intimate sit-down dinners for weddings and receptions, and for photo and film shoots.

Moon Valley Country Club, 151 W. Moon Valley Dr., Phoenix, AZ  85023, 602.375.4425  Nestled beneath the serene, sun-drenched hills of North Phoenix, lies a lush, green oasis in the desert called Moon Valley Country Club. This classic 160-acre property is laden with mature trees and foliage which rise above the colorful flowers that riddle the landscape. Our retro-chic look will be the perfect setting for your wedding.

An Old Town Wedding and Event Center, 8276 W. Monroe St., Peoria, AZ  85345, 623.412.7797  A 1948 red brick home with over one half acre gardens, fountains, mature trees, seasonal flowers, and twinkle lights galore. Ceremony takes place in the raised lit gazebo, and the reception is in the gardens. Enjoy the evening while dancing under the stars.

Pebble Creek Country Club, 16222 Clubhouse Dr., Goodyear, AZ  85395, 623.935.6726  Affordable luxury Pebble Creek Country Club is the hidden jewel of the West Valley.

The Phoenix Country Club, 2901 N. 7th St., Phoenix, AZ  85014, 602.263.5208  Warm, soft elegance, 60% window view, 4300 sq. ft. ballroom looking out on 130 acres in downtown Phoenix, recent modernization to the club with beautiful wood and soft earth tones. Private Country Club with a dedicated team to make special memories for your wedding day or rehearsal dinner.

The Ritz-Carlton, Phoenix, 2401 E. Camelback Rd., Phoenix, AZ  85016, 602.468.0700  The Ritz-Carlton, Phoenix is a luxury hotel with urban chic surroundings, making it one of the city’s most desired wedding venues. From a Terrace draped with white twinkle lights to an elegant Ballroom, the Hotel offers seamless comprehensive wedding services for intimate and grand celebrations.

Scottsdale Resort & Athletic Club, 8225 E. Indian Bend Rd., Scottsdale, AZ  85250, 480.344.0600  An intimate, personal, and private boutique of Scottsdale, Arizona, the Scottsdale Resort & Athletic Club offers breathtaking views and unmatched recreational amenities.

Seville Golf & Country Club, 6683 S. Clubhouse Dr., Gilbert, AZ  85298, 480.279.3012  Seville has many different options for you to choose from to hold your wedding. From open grass acres, the lagoon or waterfall to any number of golf course locations. We have the perfect spot for you!

Spinato’s Pizzeria, 4848 E. Chandler Blvd., Phoenix, AZ  85048, 480.961.0208  www.spinatospizza.com  Spinato’s family pizzeria, has a private dining room to host your rehearsal dinner and reception. Extensive menu choices and service styles allow you to order off the menu to work within your budget. Spinato’s friendly staff and variety of tasty food will have your wedding remembered forever!

Superstition Springs Golf Club, 6542 E. Baseline Rd., Mesa, AZ  85206, 480.654.5652  When you want the location of your event to be as special as the occasion, we have what it takes. Distinguished by its Southern plantation style clubhouse, Superstition breathes an air of luxury.

Tatum Ranch Golf Club, 29888 N. Tatum Ranch Dr., Cave Creek, AZ  85331, 480.585.2399  Tatum Ranch Golf Club is a premier wedding venue that offers elegance at an affordable price. With a breathtaking mountain backdrop, our outdoor ceremony site is the perfect setting for your wedding ceremony! Tatum Ranch Golf Club features fine food, professional staff, and a wedding day that will be truly magical.

Trilogy at Vistancia, 27980 N. Trilogy Blvd. E., #102, Peoria, AZ  85383, 623.215.6260  Our Ceremony Promenade is the perfect backdrop to exchange vows with dramatic views of the Bradshaw Mountains. Equipped with a 2,200 square foot dance floor, Infinity doors and state-of-the-art video equipment, the Tewa Ballroom is the perfect place for a celebration of your new life together.

Venue at the Grove, 7010 S. 27th Ave., Phoenix, AZ  85041, 602.456.0803  If you are looking for a unique garden setting for your ceremony/reception in the Arizona desert that is only 15 minutes away from downtown Phoenix, look no further. Venue at the Grove is located on a two and a half acre pecan grove that truly provides a unique experience.

Villa Siena, 890 W. Elliot Rd., Gilbert, AZ  85233, 480.782.7218  Exquisite Tuscan elegance, Villa Siena invites you, with up to 250 guests, to celebrate live, love and laughter on the day of your wedding. Six thousand square feet of indoor space as well as 6,500 square feet of beautiful outdoor gardens add to the grace of Villa Siena.

The Wrigley Mansion, 2501 E. Telawa Tr., Phoenix, AZ  85016, 602.553.7395  Historical landmark, once private residence of William Wrigley Jr. – chewing gum magnate – Stunning Valley Views!

Zulu Club, 15000 N. Airport Dr., Scottsdale, AZ  85260, 480.282.0464  Enjoy the spectacular views of the McDowell Mountains and corporate jets on our property – in the heart of Scottsdale, complete privacy and uniquely different.

Copyright 2012, Kim Horn, MBC™

To hire Kim as your wedding planner, call 480.921.7891 or text your name, wedding date, and wedding planner request to 602.418.9089.

Kim M. Horn, MBC™

Master Bridal Consultant | 1 of 61 in the World

Scottsdale, Paradise Valley, Chandler, Phoenix and Destination Weddings

Publisher | Pres. | ArizonaBridalSource.com

AZ State Coordinator | Assoc. of Bridal Consultants May 2003 – April 2012

ABC 2010 Conference Chair worked with David Tutera

O 480.921.7891

C 602.418.9089

F 480.829.6292

E info@ArizonaBridalSource.com

ArizonaBridalSource.com

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