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August 2, 2013

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Thanks to JanDekkerDesigns.com for the gorgeous photo!  Few vendors ROCK my world like Jan, plus her b’day is one day before mine, go figure, right!

http://www.JanDekkerDesigns.com

http://www.JanDekkerDesigns.com

You found the man/woman of your dreams, your soul mate, right, congrats!  You said “YES”, you’re engaged, and since many items do come in “threes,” or “multiples of threes,”– such as graduating from college, moving into a new home, switching jobs, finding a new job, buying a new car, and then you just added the “wedding to do list” which is a mile long, you are BUSY!  You thought finding time to do things was tough before, well, it doesn’t get any better!

As an experienced wedding planner, at the end of the day, in my opinion (which you will hear TONS of opinions), this is truly what matters…having an incredible wedding of your dreams is important, yet more important is the quality of the rest of your life together as husband and wife.

Your wedding may be the first “party” you have thrown with all of your family and friends in attendance.  To make it more stressful, it is not only your family and friends, you have added the family and friends of your fiancé too (many you may not have met yet)!

The golden rule is important.  You have heard of bridezilla, groomzilla, and momzilla, so please don’t let the stress of planning your wedding turn you, or someone you love into one!  Reach out to those in your close circle of family and friends in a kind way.  You may disagree, tempers may flare, yet pick your battles, since relationships and friendships may end over minor issues which may have been solved easily and quickly.

Here are a few MUST DO tips before you walk down the aisle and say “I do.”

1).  Happily ever after happens in fairy tales.  Pre-wedding anxiety is normal.  Confront your fears, stress, or concerns about your marriage head on.  Be open with your fiance and your inner circle of family and friends.

2).  Plan a date night with your fiance.  Have a date night with your fiancé where you talk about what he wants to talk about, and don’t bring up “the wedding.”  Make it at a location on “neutral grounds,” where you both are comfortable and get back to “normal” before the stresses of planning the wedding.

3).  Discuss a prenup, checking accounts, credit cards, savings, and joining finances.  If you haven’t already discussed this, it is important.  You may want accounts to stay at “your bank,” while he wants accounts to stay at “his bank”.   Once checks and bills start coming in, you don’t want confusion about whose account they should go into or out of.  Are you going to stay with “your” bank, switch to “his” bank, or go to a different bank altogether?  Finances are normally one of the top items of disagreements in relationships.

4).  Discuss plans to have children or not have children.  Many breakdowns in marriages occur when someone “thought” or “assumed” their spouse wanted and expected something, then when they brought it up, said they were “blind sided” and didn’t see “that” coming.  If you are planning to have children, when, and how many?  If you are not planning on having children, best to talk about it now.  If you do have children, how are you going to raise them if you are Catholic and he is Jewish?

5).  Plan “me” time.  Schedule something which helps you relax, and something you like to do for you.  May be working out, hiking, playing sports, purging your closet, something for you!

6).  Bond and have heart-to-heart moments with your family and BFFs.  Once you are married you will have less free time with your parents and friends.  Plan something you have always wanted to do with them, yet haven’t done “yet” together, something on your/their “bucket” list.

7).  Talk about “When we’re married…”  Here is a way to get the creative minds thinking (LOVE using this in your wedding ceremony wording too):  You have known each other for ____ years, through the first glance of acquaintance to this moment of commitment.  At some moment you decided to marry.  From that moment of yes, until this moment of Yes (your wedding vows), indeed, you have been making promises and agreements in an informal way.  All those conversations that were held riding in a car or over a meal or on long walks – all those sentences that began with “When we’re married” and continued with “I will, and you will, and we will,” – those late night talks that included “someday” and “somehow” and “maybe” – and all those promises that are unspoken matters of the heart.  All these common things, and more, are the real process of a wedding.

8).  You can’t change someone else.  This is one of the most valuable lessons I will ever share with you.  So many clients say “after the wedding, this isn’t happening…”and feel they have a magical way of changing their spouse.  When your vows say, “for better, for worse,” that is truly what to expect.  You love your fiancé for multiple reasons, and will be spending the rest of your lives together.  Marriage is a two way street, and communication and compromise are crucial to the success of your marriage.

9).  If you don’t like something, work at making a change in yourself to change the way you accept or don’t accept “it” in your life.  The definition of insanity by Albert Einstein is “Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different results.”

Copyright 2013, Kim Horn, MBC™

Hire Kim as your wedding planner, call 480.921.7891 or text your name, wedding date, and wedding planner request to 602.418.9089.

Kim M. Horn, MBC™

Master Bridal Consultant | 1 of 61 in the World

Scottsdale Wedding Planner | Paradise Valley Wedding Planner | Chandler Wedding Planner | Phoenix Wedding Planner | Destination Weddings

Publisher | Pres. | ArizonaBridalSource.com

AZ State Coordinator Assoc. of Bridal Consultants May 2003 – May 2012

2010 Annual Conference Chair (worked with David Tutera) – Assoc. of Bridal Consultants

O 480.921.7891

M 602.418.9089

F 480.829.6292

E info@ArizonaBridalSource.com

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